By Jenevieve Monroe
Culture and News Writer
Lights, sarcasm, and anecdotal humor: “Keeping It Real” will keep you laughing at just how relatable the student experience can be at Saint Mary’s.
The festival opens with its first act “Uprooted,” a satirical commentary on the challenges that international students face in academic settings. Actor and scriptwriter Sejal Bahl stars as the protagonist, Samaira Bhattacharya, a young immigrant who learns to navigate the “new, scary, tiring, and alienating” social dynamics found within American culture. “We wanted to show the lives of people our age,” said the closing Directors’ Note. “Writing our own plays, directing them, and designing for them allowed us to do this in a way that was accessible to audiences while still being true to ourselves.”
These values can be seen in the festival’s second act, titled “An Awareness of Eccentricity” by Thomas Bradvica. Talk about relatable! The playwright protagonist, played by Ryanne Biernat, struggles to maintain her sanity while accomplishing an “all-nighter” assignment. The dialogues between cast members were witty, eccentric, and on the verge lucid; however, I couldn’t get over the dramatic performance of Lydia Miller’s “Man 2.” The mustache and scatterbrained nature of Miller’s character were riveting to watch.
Following the second performance was one just as chaotic, witty, and well-orchestrated. The act “Sweet Expectations” encompasses a complex web of different identities and how they interact with each other. Writer Grace Clinton fabricated a storyline of family chaos that will leave you either empathizing or in awe of the protagonist’s resolution (played by Kendra Eisenmann). “Our experiences overlap in a complex web,” wrote the festival’s directors. “We, as playwrights, directors, and designers are excited to share our work with you.”
The festival shifted to a more serious, musical commentary on the challenges of social conformity in the fourth act. The screenplay “Unmasked” tells a student’s journey of self-love and acceptance in the face of familial and peer judgment. You’ll hear some classic Disney favorites sung by screenwriter and actor Aero England, whose voice was a phenomenal asset to the plot.
The final act received roaring laughter from the crowd. Written by Sarah Shaughnessy, the fifth act “Seminar 103” is a painfully relatable satire on how unpredictable Socratic dialogues can be in the classroom. Each character brought their own flavor of chaos, particularly Weston Wheatley’s portrayal of “Finance Bro.” Prepare to hear humor at its most unfiltered!
Overall, this festival unites diverse stories of our student body through the creativity and passions of Saint Mary’s Theater Program. “There is no one way for every individual to experience the same reality,” wrote the directors. “From plays that challenge and subvert our expectations, whether that be about class or life itself, to ones that reflect truths about our identities, we all hope that you can find ‘our’ reality.”
The New Twilight Movie Reviewed
By Madison Sciba
Amateur Vampire Investigator
R-Patz has a new movie and boy he is looking good. The new Twilight movie was just released in theaters and I have some major questions. First, I thought the Twilight vampires couldn’t turn into bats, yet that seemed to be the whole theme of the new movie. Second, did Ed and Bella break up? Like where was she? And who’s this cat chick? Was this a situation where you have to read the book first? Because there is no way I am going to do that.
Edward apparently decided to change his name after his and Bella’s breakup in New Moon. Bruce Wayne? Apparently, he couldn’t think of anything cooler. He did have a nice new ride, although I would never have pegged Edward (sorry I mean Bruce) as a motorcycle guy. His new hairstyle really suits him, much better than the 2008 spiky hair he had in the other movies.
I only recommend watching this movie if you are Team Edward, Team Jacob fans will be greatly disappointed with the severe lack of our favorite werewolf. Also, who is this new Riddler guy? I don’t remember seeing him in any of the other movies.
This movie does have a lot of dark tones, and no classic, quotable lines. Like “Hold on tight spider monkey”? That was Oscar worthy. This movie does not even compare to the cinematic masterpiece that is the original Twilight movie. First with no Bella and then no other vampires??? How is this supposed to be a Twilight movie if there are no vampires and no Bella-Edward-Jacob love triangle? Although he was shirtless quite often, there were no sparkles. I was highly disappointed; that was not the skin of a killer.
By Remy Zerber and Isabelle Delostrinos
Culture Columnists/ Fortune Tellers
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You will rebel against your homework this week and go out almost every night. Be careful with your time management and don’t let your homework pile up or you will be up all night doing it.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Dream up something great for this week Pisces! You will go swimming with your friends this week. Even better, you guys will plan something great for the summer thanks to your genius ideas! Water always gives you the best ideas!
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Aries, you will book a spontaneous trip to Greece for spring break. I hear it is beautiful there. Make sure to take pictures and soak up the sun!
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Hey Taurus! Don’t be too much of a perfectionist! Everything will work out. A mysterious stranger will also come around to help you. Could this mean a new friendship, partner, or enemy? Can’t wait for you to find out.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini, the stars are not aligning for you. You will have a really big midterm this week and not do so well. Oh well, look at the bright side! One less test to
study for! You got this.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Things are looking up if you are a Cancer this week. Funny things will happen to you. You will meet a crazy new friend who will take you on new adventures. You two will play hide and seek all throughout campus and ignore all of your responsibilities. It will be the best time ever!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Okay, we get it, you’re a Leo. This week is looking like a great week for you. But if you mention your zodiac sign to anyone, you bring upon instant bad luck for the rest of March. The stars said it, not me!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22
Virgo, loosen up a bit. You’re frustrated, annoyed, and always irritated with how things have been going and it’s taking up a lot of your energy! Well good news are in store for you and it looks like you’ll be getting a surprise party within the next few days. Keep a lookout!
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Hey Libra. The stars are aligning and they want me to let you know that not everything is about you. It’s okay to share the spotlight! Sometimes the supporting actors end up with the greatest stories. Don’t be afraid of the sidelines. Take this week to relax, reset, and hype up your besties!
Scorpio ( October 23 - November 21)
The past few weeks have been some of the best of your life. Elements of your life are starting to align and you can finally see yourself thriving. Well, unfortunately it looks like we’re approaching a road block here. Don’t worry, the things you have worked for won’t go away! But to make it through, make sure you hit a cartwheel on Chapel Lawn. It’s a symbol of persistence and the stars will reward you for it.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21
Sag, life’s been a little boring for you recently. There’s been nothing to look forward to and it’s bringing you down! Things will start picking back up soon. Patience is a virtue.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
I know you probably dread reading these because your outlooks are never as intriguing, but I’m here to tell you not today! Something great this week is coming. The good news you have been waiting for is finally on the way, so be ready to claim it!
How a new mascot will better represent the current and future Saint Mary’s Community.
By Isabelle Delostrinos
Culture Columnist/ Potato Enthusiast
Let’s face it, school pride can be a bit tough when no one knows what your mascot is. University of Oregon has “Go Ducks”, USC has “Fight On” to go with their trojan, and even Stanford somehow finessed “Fear the Tree” out of their Christmas tree mascot. But what happens when we need to caption our Instagram selfies on Chapel Lawn? Or the enthusiastic photos with our friends at basketball games? #GoGaels? #GaelsRise?
After months of updating family members on my attendance here at SMC, someone always has to pose the question, “what’s a gael?” And you know what Uncle Greg, I wonder the same thing. This isn’t 1492, an updated mascot is necessary! Imagine how much easier defending our stomping grounds will be. No more questionable faces and scoffs at our unknown mascot. And for our marketing department, wouldn’t a more relatable mascot be better to draw in prospective students? I’m sorry Gideon but I think it's time for a new captain in this place. As a favor to the future generations at SMC, I propose a bigger, better, more Instagrammable, hashtag friendly, and well known mascot: a potato.
It’s round, brown, and comes in all shapes and sizes. So many good things come from this one root vegetable. Mashed, fried, baked, thinly sliced, diced, cubed, you name it. And don’t even get me started on the family of fries. A potato as the SMC mascot will be representative of all who walk through our campus. It’s a universal object that many can see within themselves, making it a perfect mascot.
Can you see the headlines? SMC Potatoes Win NCAA March Madness Tournament! Rolling Admissions: Become a Potato Today! #SMCPotatoes #MashEmUp. We’ll be paving the way for a new generation of mascots and will truly bring our luck to the table with this new mascot. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a potato?
Via shutterstock.com, Idaho Potato Bowl
Melanie Moyer '22,