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By Vivian Hill Mascot Enthusiast We have all been guilty of using the saying “It’s okay because God is a Gael.” But what if SMC introduced more than only God being a Gael? Why not get the whole Trinity in there too? God is the Gael, the random guy that dressed up as Jesus. Even though I’m sure he was trying to be Moses to “part the red sea” the costume works well for being Jesus. And finally, for the Holy Spirit, we have Jeffery the giraffe. Put some wings and a halo on him and you have the final piece of the new SMC Mascot Trio. With this new trio, SMC will stand out amongst any other team. For God and the whole Trinity on our side. Basketball games would be so much better and the crowd would be so into it. With the Brothers on the sidelines and the Trinity as part of the mascot, SMC would be an unbeatable team. And have an even more powerful crowd to cheer along. If only God is a Gael, then why even be a Gael? Have the Trinity on our side Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Because why shouldn’t this work? God is a Gael, right? No, it’s even better. The Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are Gaels now. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY FROM THE COLLEGIAN STAFF!
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Everyone loves paying more money! By Molly Baziuk Visiting Opinion Columnist, Reluctant Tuition-Bill-Payer Hooray! SMC tuition is being raised yet again with cries of joy being heard through every corner of campus! This is stellar news from the community as it seems there are clearly some very underfunded parts of the school and what better way to get more money than to take it from starving college students who, well let’s be honest, probably can’t afford a decent meal or housing! But hey, we could all use a bit of student enhancement! They said they’ll put more money towards student activities, so thank God our Gael we have rich folk here who can attend those activities while everyone else slaves away at work to get out of even more massive loads of debt! Maybe raising tuition will go towards fixing that delightful wifi that crashed about 67 times while I wrote this article, or perhaps towards meals, but we all know Oliver will stay as peachy as ever and more and more students will have to drop out due to this raise. But hey, maybe those underprivileged students who are on full scholarships can finally get a taste of what one percenters have to deal with on a day to day basis. Now we will all be paying like we’re supposed to and everyone will be equal! The decision to raise tuition is a stellar one by our administration, after all, this school gives out so many scholarships. Saint Marys’ decision to raise tuition is a lot like my relationship with my Safeway Club card. Every time I go to Safeway I use my club card and feel ecstatic because of all the great deals and discounts that come with shopping there. I always end up spending way more than I intended because Safeway says they’re giving me free money and even though they raise prices, they give random discounts on bread sometimes. Who doesn’t love bread? Exactly, and who doesn’t love a good Saint Mary’s tuition raise? HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY FROM THE COLLEGIAN STAFF!
By Brooke Haggerty Opinion Columnist, Professionally Tardy One way or another, life has thrown us unexpected curveballs. Because of this, we have to decide what matters most, and sometimes this requires us to take time to gather our wits, consult and find comfort in our support systems, and finally to rest. But the reality is that this can all be difficult to achieve depending on one’s available resources. Though if there is anything that we can blame for not giving us sufficient time to obtain the necessities to survive life especially in this present day where the world seems like it is going to end at any moment, we can point our fingers at SMC’s absence policy. I don’t know about you, but I am well-acquainted with it. In fact, I would consider the absence policy and I frenemies. But somehow I have found a way for it to accommodate me regardless of my collegiate career’s extenuating circumstances, but then there have been times where I have fallen victim to it and had to take a leave because life became too much to do both school and itself. Nevertheless, I still find it ridiculous for SMC to expect us to cope with every consistent, catastrophic (world) event that has taken place since 2020. Yet, before I go on what SMC and its policymakers will call another tangent versus sensible reasons on why absence policy is nonsense, ignorant, and overbearing on students, I have to make a concession by saying that it is true that some courses and majors are necessary for a student to be present in order to pass and get the material out of the class. the and call SMC and the policymakers out, I will say that some courses and majors really do understandably require you to be present in order to pass and get the material out of the class. Now taking everything into account, if SMC and its policymakers really had “[r]espect for all [p]ersons,” one of its Lasallian core principles, then they would respect the time, mental health, and capabilities of us in today’s stressful circumstances as well as our own life-related issues. Because the reality is, there are few and far between people who are resilient enough to gracefully endure life while being extremely successful in all of its areas, especially academics. They can say, “Well, that’s just life,” and while that may be partially true, it is just an excuse to keep up an outdated, never-necessary system. We deserve to have breathers and to still be able to complete our degrees. We should not have to be told to get ourselves together and take a leave because many of us do not have the time or the circumstances to do that, and to be frank, it is quite exasperating and discouraging. Life is hard enough. Living during these times let alone in the U.S. is insane. Why can’t SMC be more compassionate? If only SMC was and mandated that each department revised their absence policy, then we could only that the overall well-being of us, students, would be better. All we can do is keep going and get our degrees while hoping in our own individual times here that SMC will do something about its absence policy. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY FROM THE COLLEGIAN STAFF!
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STAFFMadison Sciba '24, Archives
May 2024
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